LATE NIGHT COMEDIANS’ COMMENTS ABOUT THE TOUGHNESS OF BOSTON AFTER THE 2013 BOSTON MARATHON TERRORIST ATTACK…
Let’s face it, haters are going to hate, but Boston is fearless in spite of the Islamic radicals who set upon attacking the innocent victims at the 117th Boston Marathon. I’m a proud Bostonian, and we are Boston Strong! The Boston Marathon terrorist attack was a cowardly, vicious act orchestrated by Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, two evil Chechnya punks who hate America and all it stands for, even though they took full advantage of our generosity. We now know first-hand the massive extent of their evil and their hate, especially in light of past murders that they were “allegedly” involved in on September 11, 2011. Their goal is to destroy this beautiful country of ours, but we’re a heck of a lot stronger than they will ever be. We grieve over our immense losses, we brush off the evil, then we rebuild our lives with God’s divine help.
I thought it was a good idea to post some comments from late night comedians about the strength of Boston…
Compiled From Daniel Kurtzman…
Stephen Colbert on the Boston Marathon bombing:
“Whoever did this obviously did not know sh*t about the people of Boston. Because nothing these terrorists do is going to shake them. For Pete’s sake, Boston was founded by the pilgrims—a people so tough they had to buckle their g*ddamn hats on. It is the cradle of the American revolution. A city that withstood an 86-year losing streak. A city that made it through the Big Dig, a construction project that backed up traffic for 16 years—I mean, there are commuters just getting home now. Even their bands are tough. It’s the hometown of Aerosmith, who are, in their fifth decade, still going strong. Even Steven Tyler looks fantastic, for a 73-year-old woman.
But here is what these cowards really don’t get. They attacked the Boston Marathon. An event celebrating people who run 26 miles on their day off until their nipples are raw for fun. And they have been holding it in Boston since 1897. And do you know how tough you have to be to run in a whalebone corset? And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another two miles to the hospital to donate blood.
So here’s what I know. These maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do is show just how good those people are.”
Jon Stewart on the Boston Marathon bombing:
“Once again, having to start under horrific events here in this country. I really hate the fact that I can cross-reference my thoughts to so many other events that have occurred over the years—so I’m not going to. I’m just going to say this to Boston: Thank you. Thank you for once again, in the face of gross inhumanity, inspiring and solidifying my belief in humanity and the people of this country.
So thank you for everything you’ve done. It’s quite a little city you’ve got going on up there. And New Yorkers and Boston obviously have kind of a little bit of a competition. Often, the two cities accusing each other of various levels of suckitude. But it is in situations like this that we realize it is clearly a sibling rivalry, and that we are your brothers and sisters in this type of event. As a city that knows the feeling of confusion, anger, and grief, and chaos that comes with these events, I can tell you from personal experience: You’ve got a hell of a city going on, and you’ve done an incredible job in the face of all this. Thank you.”
Compiled from Scott Meslow…
Conan O’Brien on the Boston Marathon bombing:
Conan O’Brien acknowledged his personal connection to Boston, sending his thoughts and prayers to the city before continuing on with the show:
Ladies and gentlemen, we do have a great show for you tonight. But first, I did want to start by talking about what an upsetting and sad day it has been. I’m talking, of course, about what happened in Boston earlier today. Boston’s my hometown. It’s where I grew up. It’s where my family lives. So I wanted to take a moment to say that like everybody here, my thoughts and prayers are with the people of Boston, and everybody who’s been affected by this absolutely senseless act. That’s important to say right up top. That said, it is our job to do a show, and we’re going to try and entertain you the very best we can. Which, given our track record, gives you people a 20 percent chance of having a good show tonight, and I think that’s pretty good.
Craig Ferguson on the Boston Marathon bombing:
A visibly distraught Craig Ferguson spent most of his opening monologue in a non-comedic vein, as he talked about his affection for Boston and lamented the senselessness of the tragedy:
“Good evening. Tonight’s show is a little bit different. Obviously, the news of today is so horrendous that it would seem insensitive, at best to say, “It’s a great day for America.” So I won’t be starting the show with that tonight. Is anyone else sick of this sh*t? Too often, I have to not say “It’s a great day for America” for some random act of madness or terrorism.
By the time you get to this show, the media has been poring over the events of the day, and the constant analysis, and speculation on the assumptions. I’m not here to do that. People say to me, “Craig, your job is to make people laugh at the end of the day,” and yes, that’s true. But I’ve never professed to be any damn good at that.
People want their mind taken off it. And I think well, okay, if you want your mind taken off it, watch a cartoon or a video or something. I understand it. I think it’s perfectly acceptable. I don’t think it’s a terrible thing to not want to think about it. But I can’t not think about it. I can’t not think about it. And the deal I made with you, when I started this show, was that I’ll be as honest as I can be. I’ll do the best show I can do.
And also, I have a personal connection with the city of Boston. I have some history there. I have family there. When I became an American citizen in 2008, I spoke at Faneuil Hall on July 4 on the invitation of Tommy Menino, who’s the mayor of Boston, and one of the more colorful characters in American politics. Who would have thought that Boston would rise up with an interesting and colorful politician? But it happens from time to time. I’ve been there on the 4th of July, many times, on the Esplanade there, with that big half shell, or clamshell—I always get it wrong, but I’ve done that a lot. Every cop in Boston looks like I’m his brother. You know that’s true. My first standup special in America, I shot in Boston. I’m used to it. I like that town. I’m appalled by this thing. And when I watch it on these streets that I know, watch the media going over and over this thing on the streets you know, it’s horrifying.
And people say, ‘You don’t let the terrorists win.’ They’re not f***ing winning. It’s there. And I know people say, ‘Oh we don’t know if it’s a terrorist.’ Yes, we do. Whoever did that—whoever did that thing—wasn’t doing it for any other reason. Clearly they failed in achieving the number of deaths and carnage that they were trying to get. This wasn’t some brave commando that snuck into a military installation and put a limpet mine on the side of a battleship, and snuck out, fearing for his own life. This was some f***ing f***er who went into a public place and left something there that they knew was going to blow up. That’s not a soldier, that’s a terrorist. That’s not a soldier.
If I have all this inside of me—all this rage, and anger, and distress inside of me—I’m not good enough a comedian to hide it from you. I can’t hide it. It’s there. So we’ll have our guests out tonight, and I’ll ask them about their lives. But I don’t know how it’s going to be.
Jimmy Kimmel on the Boston Marathon bombing:
Jimmy Kimmel kept his remarks relatively brief, acknowledging the Boston Marathon bombings before segueing to a traditional comedic monologue:
I don’t want to bring everyone down, but it was a terrible day. Very bad things happened today, for no good reason, and our thoughts are with the people of Boston, and everyone who is suffering as a result of the bombings at the marathon. It’s a disgusting thing, and I don’t understand it, but my job is to make you laugh, and so I’ll try to do that. And I will probably fail. I’m failing already.