FRIDAY FUNNIES: THE ELEVATOR / UGLY BABY / THE FRYING PAN / MIDNIGHT PHONE CALL / MOTHER OF SIX…

Posted on August 20, 2010. Filed under: Humor... |

 
I don’t know if this will post because Windows Live has been doing crazy things with my blog.  Here’s a little humor to start your weekend off on a good note…
 
QueenBee
 
 

THE ELEVATOR

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a rather heavy, not too attractive, older lady walked up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them into a small room.

The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a beautiful, young woman stepped out. The father, said quietly to his son, "Go get your Mother".

UGLY BABY
 
A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
 
Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby.
He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous child. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."

When his wife blushed, he became suspicious, and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?"

His wife confessed, "Not this time."

 
 
 
THE FRYING PAN

A man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.

Man: "What was that for?"

Wife: "What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it?"

Man: "Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on."

The wife looked all satisfied, apologizes, and goes off to do work around the house.

Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she repeats the frying pan swatting.

Man: "What was that for this time?"

Wife: "Your horse phoned."

 
MIDNIGHT PHONE CALL
 
The manager of a liquor store gets a midnight phone call at home:
– Hello!

– At what time does the store open?
– At ten o’clock sir.

At two in the morning, the phone rings again:

– HELLO!
– Ya (burp), at what time does, euh, the store open?
– AT TEN IN THE MORNING, sir

Again, at four, the phone rings:

– H!E!L!L!O!
– Ya, euh, (burp), at …time, euh, does the euh store open?
– At ten in the morning sir, but I am not sure that, since you are so drunk, I will let you in.
– I (burp) don’t want, euh, to get in, euh, I want to get out!

 
 
MOTHER OF SIX
 

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husbands lack of discretion shouts back… "Anytime you’re ready, Father of Four!"

 
 
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